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As Ecclesiastes (it’s in the Bible) says, “there is a time to dance and a time to mourn.” A memorial service is not a time to dance.There may be smiles and slight laughs at a funeral as we remember the uniqueness of the person we are gathered to remember, but a Dean Martin-style roast it is not.These days many people regard an overabundance of flowers as an excessive waste of money.In the death notice or at the funeral home, the names of one or two favorite charities of the deceased are noted in case one would prefer to make a memorial donation rather than sending a spray of flowers.

If the burial has taken place or the body has been cremated (with or without an urn present), then it is a memorial service.The choice is up to you if you want to make a charitable donation or not and it is up to you ultimately to which charity you would like to donate.The charity will inform the deceased family of the donation, or the funeral home will prepare a list of donors names and addresses. People ask what is the difference between a “funeral” and a “memorial service.” The answer really lies in whether the deceased is there in body or just in memory.Gentlemen are encouraged to wear dark suits and ties.The service is usually about the same duration as a Christian funeral.

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