Gay sober dating
On the internet, meanwhile, I could be someone else entirely — maybe I was Parker, age 20, taking a semester off from Amherst, where I was studying art history, or Steven, a cater-waiter with dreams of becoming a Broadway star.I slipped in and out of identities as nimbly as I changed clothes.I never liked myself more than when I was with a guy who liked me.But after the date ended, whether with a friendly hug or a lingering kiss or even sex, whatever it was, the moment I was alone again, loneliness would roll in like New England fog. I had gotten sober years earlier, when I was still a teenager, so I couldn’t medicate the feelings away with wine or pills.One night, not long after I moved to Los Angeles, after having dinner with a handsome but dull young man I’d met on Tinder, I drove up into the hills to my friend Debby’s house. So you welcome their arrival, and you surrender to their departure. And when the visitors go home, they might take something from you. It wasn’t revolutionary, but there was something unusually elegant about how Debby had distilled this, her theory of visitors, and even sort of spooky. Tucked away in a corner booth at a wine bar with a guy who had followed me on Twitter (and I had thirst-followed back after looking him up on Facebook, stalking his tagged photos and determining that we had enough mutual friends that he was worth going out with), I might have looked like I was seeing him as him, but I wasn’t.
I didn’t want to be alone in my new life, free as I was from the shackles of a long-term relationship.
“But I can’t seem to get anyone to stick around.” I hesitated. To me, this was a shameful secret — what was wrong with me that I couldn’t meet guys out in the world, like a normal person?
Certainly, I still met men in bars and clubs sometimes, as a teenager living in New York City with a passable fake ID, but I was unmistakably jailbait and any man who picked me up had to know it.
I went on dates in cities all over the country, wherever I was, even if I was only there for a night or two, finding some guy on an app who might keep me company over dinner or drinks.
I went on dates when I was happy, and I went on dates when I was sad.