Geek dating 101
DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (VI) (1) Bunnies are cute. (2) It is a golden principle and applies to whatever I say it does.
(2) We pulled over to the side of the road, joined hands and asked gawd to deliver us home safely. It would not have mattered as I had another copy on file. (3) The computer had more sense than atheists who made it. (3) Therefore you are unable to comprehend my intense philosophical proofs of God's existence. METACROCK'S ARGUMENT FOR GOD (II) (1) I created the term "arbitrary necessity".
(3) There are all horrible disasters going around the world. (5) God is too stupid to do anything about these things. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN DEMOCRACY (1) God would never allow a non-Christian to become president.
(3) I say an eternal universe is an arbitrary necessity.
ARGUMENT FROM INSECURITY (1) We have gone to absolutely berserk lengths to establish that atheists are laughable morons. ARGUMENT FROM SUPERIORITY (1) If God does not exist, then I am an inferior being, since I am not "special" in a cosmic sense. (2) Atheists say that there are no absolute moral standards. ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (I) (1) Intellectually, I know that the existence of God is impossible, or vastly improbable. ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (II) (1) Atheists say that God doesn't exist. ARGUMENT FROM INDULGENCE (1) Atheists like to think that they can control their emotional desires. (3) Therefore, atheists feel the need to indulge in whatever they feel like without worrying about committing sin. ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged) (1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X? (3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'? (3) Atheist also gives examples of martyrs outside Christendom. (2) Atheist offers several possible, natural explanations.
ARGUMENT FROM ABSOLUTE MORAL STANDARDS (1) If there are absolute moral standards, then God exists. (3) There is absolutely no other way that chariots could get to the bottom of the Red Sea. (2) Atheist notes that the NT doesn't mention anyone dying for their knowledge of Jesus' "physical" resurrection. ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE (I) (1) I once experienced something I can't explain. (2) That someone must have been an eyewitness to the described events.
(4) Obviously, God didn't want to answer my prayer. (6) The rain was God's punishment for my selfish desires. METACROCK'S ARGUMENT FOR GOD (I) (1) I have a philosophy degree. Lewis had a lot of good arguments in favor of Christianity ...
(2) Also, our youth group leader Skip once, like, cured a broken leg using only the power of the almighty Lord. ARGUMENT FROM SPEAKING IN TONGUES (1) My friend here, once started spontaneously speaking some jibberish that sounded to me kind of like Russian. (3) [Throws watch into forest.] (4) Therefore, God exists. (3) This something else must be God because I can't come up with a better explanation. ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING (1) Behold, foolish atheists, I present you with an incontrovertible proof of the existence of God.
(7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well? (2) [Insert any of the other arguments on this page in here.] (3) [Atheist refutes argument.] (4) I cannot prove there is a God any more than anyone of us can prove we really exist in a tangible world. (3) If the existence of God is proven, then God exists. RANDMANS ARGUMENT (1) This entry from the 1975 World Book Encyclopedia on evolution contains some errors that I claim to have already substantiated. ARGUMENT FROM TEEN CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT (1) God is so totally awesome, dude, and if you would pretend that Creed and POD were good bands, you would realize that. (2) If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer. (2) I don't understand how X could be, without something else (that I don't really understand either) making or doing X. (3) Osiris, Mithra, Ishtar, Hercules, Horus, Perseus, Bacchus, Tammuz, Hermes, and Prometheus? (2) I also think that guy called Eternal is smart with all those great arguments.
How dare I try to compel God to my selfish desires!
ARGUMENT FROM DEAD FIREFIGHTERS (1) All those dead firefighters were blessed by a Catholic priest before they gave their lives.