Okcupid dating rules
Consider: Last month, a woman we’ll call Penny asked 15 men for drinks.Except she invited all of them to meet her on the same day at the same time at the same bar, and the only company they found when they got there was each other.She wasn’t breaking any specific term of service, but the moderators unanimously decided to ban her. Or even trickier: A user’s wife wrote to Ok Cupid requesting we disable a “fake” account that was “posing” as her husband.Since using someone else’s photo is against site policy — the woman’s husband said the account wasn’t his — we banned it, choosing not to mention that all of the account’s network traffic was coming from their home.Had he allowed his program to remove “offensive” messages without human intervention, we would have quashed this budding romance: drewcon: Wanna suck? Ugagirl: Where u r I want Ok Cupid to allow for the type of risquéness that — when properly applied — can be a turn-on.
I do get a kick out of how cringeworthy some of our users’ rhetoric can be, but what’s more interesting are the well-meaning messages that only accidentally offend. A few weeks ago, I logged in and started reading a flagged conversation between Hank and Sarah (whose names and details have been altered to protect their privacy).The best part of being an engineer at Ok Cupid is that — even though I spend most days hunched over the lifeless glow of C code — I sometimes read other people’s private messages.I don’t do this to improve my own online-dating game (not to say I couldn’t use the help).So where do we draw the line between risqué and obscene? I made Hank’s case to Ok Cupid’s team of moderators, who each look through hundreds of flagged messages a day. “It was purely selfish.” “He didn’t escalate properly,” another added.“He didn’t make any attempt to see if she was amenable.” “If you need a black-and-white reason,” the head of customer support told me, “we have a policy of banning any user who references an illegal act on the site.