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I’m sure other dating experts / PUA gurus will have definitions for these three terms that may look different from mine, and that’s fine.

I’m just here to tell you what these three terms mean to me when I happen to use them in my writings.

If the girl gets attached in the process, it just means the breakup will be messier. Yes, the initial thrill of a new relationship is exciting, but each time that excitement grows less and less because you grow accustomed to it.

Even when a man does get emotionally invested, it usually occurs more slowly and to a lesser degree. If the countless e-mails I get from readers, or my female friends' stories and my own experience are any indication, you know what I am talking about. You gradually throw away the innocence that allows for deep emotional attachment to a single partner, in exchange for a series of brief, shallower attachments that cause you to raise your defenses against something permanent.

Below are these three levels of mastery and what they mean, at least to me.

To be clear, what constitutes these three levels is strictly my opinion.

One notch above these guys are extroverted virgins who’ve never had sex, but have lots of female friends and have never learned how to get out of friend zone.

At the other end of the spectrum, you’ve got beginners who’ve had sex with a few women, perhaps five or six, or maybe even ten if they’re older, but have no actual skill enabling them to go out into the world and pull new women into their sex life with any predictable reliability.

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As unfair as it might seem, this phenomenon is more damaging to woman than men.

Contacting people as a penpal to begin with, even for ‘penpals dating’ (where you make it clearer that you are looking for potential dates) gives you the chance to get to know someone a little at first.

Of course getting to know penpals online is not necessarily the same as getting to know people offline — for you will tend to see less of a rounded picture of the person, it is easier for people to hide things than it is offline, and so on.

For many men, the honest answer to the priest's second question is that they want their girlfriend for her beauty and, in most cases, for sex.

In many relationships, men don't get emotionally invested - they just get laid for a while.

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