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White attended one of the Skinny Minny events in New York City and used a recorder hidden in a vintage fur muff to record the men she sat down with.Their conversations ranged from topics of race and animal rights to porn and masturbation.If that is true, and I’m sure there will be plenty of men lining up in the comments to tell me all about it, it’s likely due to the fact that men won’t even acknowledge a fat woman online, much less pursue conversation or a real-life date.In my time as an online dater (almost 4 years ago, thankfully), I had a man ask to see a photo of my calves to make sure I didn’t have “cankles.” I was repeatedly asked my dress size, and often told that I had “such a pretty face,” and “you would be so gorgeous if you lost 30 lbs!” I’ve never attended a speed dating event, but I can’t even imagine the horrible things said to fat women there..On the seedier side of the internet, there are thousands of pornographic images and sites dedicated to fat women.

In my own experience as a fat woman, I was told many times by fat men that I was “too fat.” The irony was stunning.

This kind of fetishization isn’t flattering, either.

Fat women, like all other women, want to be loved and desired for who they are, not for a specific part of their bodies.

Even in media representation, fat men are often seen with thin, beautiful women, and the opposite is not true.

If this event admitted only men with a 38-and-under waist size, it would still be awful and dehumanizing.

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