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Men recreating the money shot is something that “has happened to every single one of my girlfriends,” she says.
The advertising executive, Cindy Gallop, became so irritated by this very thing that she made it the central complaint of her TED talk when launching her website, makelovenotporn.com, in 2009. Gallop is 53 and “only dates younger men, usually men in their twenties,” she tells me over a drink in London.
’” But, she goes on, “in real the world , every single partner you will ever have is different.
Different things will turn them on.” Unfortunately, Rosen says, “a lot of girls don’t speak up” about not enjoying a new partner’s aggressively porn-y approach.
She wrote about men she had just started seeing who brandished ball gags, ejaculated on to her body and used really nasty language during sex.
The thin end of the wedge is less enjoyment during sex.The more often you watch porn and get the dopamine hit it delivers, the more the activity and the sensation become entwined in your brain.Doidge puts it like this: “since neurons that fire together wire together, these men got massive amounts of practice wiring these images into the pleasure centres of the brain.” And, “because plasticity is competitive, the brain maps for new, exciting images increased at the expense of what had previously attracted them.” A related problem is what addiction experts call “tolerance”, in other words the need for more of a given stimulant (harder and weirder porn) for the same amount of dopamine.Jon’s dissatisfaction with real life sex is something he has in common with a lot of habitual porn users.In his book, The Brain That Changes Itself, the psychiatrist Norman Doidge writes about a phenomenon he began to notice among his male patients in the mid 1990s.